“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”  Rita Rudner.  

Odd things happened to me as a child. Have you ever had someone step on your throat? I have. I think I was about four years old when I came home crying to my mother that a boy at school had pushed me down and stepped on my throat. Apparently, I was outraged. My mother, however, was not. In fact, she thought the whole thing was hilarious.

She subscribed to the belief that the sadistic little bugger simply had a crush on me. Admittedly, a larynx squishing is much cheaper than say a dozen roses. My husband, however, says that my throat-stomping was likely because I talked too much.

Either way, everyone but the one with treadmarks on her throat was highly amused. After all, it doesn’t take much to entertain a human.

1)  For example, humans are fascinated by regular, everyday objects made big.  If you build it, they will come — even it’s just a big tooth.

Turns out that someone thought it would be a great idea to build a giant molar and plunk it down on the side of the road. And, in case it failed to draw a crowd to this Trenton, New Jersey location, they even decided to build a pair of impressed onlookers. Yes, those aren’t real tourists in this photo. They’re statues.

2)  Humans also have a penchant for bizarre competitions…and cheese. Would you risk life and limb for a roll of hard dairy product? Apparently, there are those that will.

Cooper’s Hill in Gloucester provides the perfect setting for the annual cheese-rolling race, a feat of competitive insanity that is believed to have been going on for roughly 200 years. The hill is actually a very steep incline — more cliff-like, really — and the muddier, the better. Someone rolls a wheel of cheese down the sharp drop and people chase after it. The first one to the bottom receives the prize–which in my case, would be a whole lot of constipation.

Yes, people get very muddy, although some do opt to wear white suits for dramatic effect. Or to exact revenge on their drycleaner. But many have actually been carted off on stretchers with broken bones and concussions. According to the NIH, St. John’s Ambulance manager, Jim Jones, shared that they tend to between 30 and 40 injured individuals each year. And, no, that doesn’t include the subsequent intestinal blockages.

3) Many humans (okay, mainly me) aren’t all that observant. For instance, I was vaguely aware that the plastic tabs that keep my bread closed come in different hues, but I never questioned why.

It turns out that these colours actually mean something.  They tell us on which day of the week our bread was baked.  According to Tasting Table, this is how it works:

Monday =blue.

Tuesday =green.

Thursday =red.

Friday =white.

Saturday =yellow.

(Note that the colours are in alphabetical order to make it easier to remember.  Yes, sometimes, we humans are clever.)