Cavemen and Martians and Doughboys, Oh My!

I have as much faith in the newspaper’s daily horoscopes as I do in a Chinese factory worker’s ability to pen prophetic words and stuff them into my fortune cookie. This raises the question…Why aren’t  there more psychic lottery winners?

I do, however, find it interesting that cartoon characters and puppets have birthdays. Not because I think that everyone born on November 2 will share Cookie Monster’s unhealthy relationship with food or that those born on February 22 will suffer from Pebbles Flintstone’s speech impediment. It is simply fun. Unless, of course, you are like me and learn that not a single one of your beloved childhood characters shares your birthday.

Here is a list of assorted talking ducks, dogs, and other creatures and their dates of birth (according to various websites).

January 9-Daisy Duck

January 12-Mater

January 17-Huckleberry Hound

January 13-Rubber Duckie

January 28-Ernie

January 29-Aquaman

February 2-Fred Flintstone

February 3- Elmo

February 8-Beeker

February 12-Gromit (Wallace & Gromit)

February 14-Pink Power Ranger

February 17- Rod Flanders

February 19-Batman

February 22-Pebbles Flintstone

February 25-Patrick Star (Starfish)

February 29-Superman

March 2-Porky Pig

March 3-Lucy Van Pelt

March 4-Woodstock

March 9-Barbie

March 17-Dennis the Menace

March 18-Pillsbury Dough boy

March 20-Big Bird

March 22- Kenny (South Park)

April 1- Bart Simpson

April 17-Daffy Duck & Sherlock Hemlock (Sesame Street)

April 20-Barney Gumble

May 1-Sponge Bob Square Pants

May 9-Kermit the Frog & Lisa Simpson

May 15- Minnie Mouse

May 25-Goofy

May 26-Kyle (South Park)

May 29-Iron Man

June 1-Oscar the Grouch

June 7-The Amazing Mumford

June 9-Donald Duck

June 19-Garfield & Tasmanian Devil

July 1-Guy Smiley & Cartman (South Park)

July 24-Marvin the Martian

July 26-Bert

July 27-Bugs Bunny & Jon Arbuckle (Garfield)

August 7- Wallace (Wallace & Gromit)

August 19-Snuffleupagus

August 21-Christopher Robin

September 5-Clifford the Red Dog & Pluto

September 13-Scooby-Doo

September 15-Mr. Burns

September 19-Slimey

September 30- Snagglepuss

October 1-Marge Simpson

October 2-Snoopy

October 6-Peggy (King of the Hill)

October 9- The Count

October 14-Grover & Winnie the Pooh

October 16-Telly

October 19-Stan Marsh (South Park)

October 25-Squidward

October 28-ALF

October 30- Charlie Brown

November 2-Cookie Monster

November 18-Mickey Mouse

November 21-Quick Draw McGraw

November 30- Mr. Krabs (Sponge Bob)

December 17-Little Bird (Sesame Street)

December 22-Elsa (Disney)

December 27-Howdy Doody

Who do you share a birthday with? Who would you most like to share it with? 

Hand me my chicken shades, my dog’s polka album, and a cough drop, please.

It would seem that my formerly mentioned head full of snot, which I had chalked up to being a mere summer cold, has somehow mutated into whooping cough.  Yes, I am being bested by a childhood disease.  I tell you–kids are tough.  I think if adults had to endure teething, we’d go ballistic.  Millions of newly-toothed adults pounding the snot out of each other.  Oops, there’s the word “snot” again.  I’m a little preoccupied with it.

And the term “whooping cough” sounds like it should be much more fun than it actually is.  I, in no way, feel like saying “whoop.”  I do, however, feel like beating myself over the head with a sack of hammers.

I remind myself of an episode of Seinfeld–come to think of it, everything reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld.

1)  Humans have been trying to “humanize” the animals around them ever since Noah crammed them into the world’s first cruise ship.  Poodles with parkas, pink dyed curls, and booties.  Need I say more?

This funky chicken appears to be enjoying her Elton John-esque, rose-coloured glasses–but don’t let her seemingly sunny disposition fool you.    In fact, these shades have been designed to prevent her from pecking her friends and relations…um…to death.  Yes, not all chickens are peaceful Foghorn Leghorn types.

I first came across these poultry accessories on an episode of Storage Wars.  Barry Weiss is not only easy on my 20/20 vision eyes, but he is also a fountain of knowledge–quickly identifying the mysterious objects as chicken glasses.

Check out this 1947 news clip.  You’ll be amazed by what passed for “clever banter” back then.  Not a glowing moment in our developmental history.

2)  We’ve all heard of shoes for dogs, but what about shoes that look like dogs?  Now you can say, “these puppies hurt my feet” and really mean it.

Created by Israeli designer, Kobi Levi, in 2010, these babies raised a few eyebrows…human and schnauzer alike.

I said, “Heel!”

3)  Snoopy thinks he is human.  He composes novels, engages in regular plane fights, decorates his doghouse for Christmas, ice skates, and prepares turkey dinners.  I’d love a dog that cooked.  Especially if he cleaned the kitchen afterwards.

Here are a few interesting facts about Snoopy:

He loves root beer.  Mm. root beer.

He’s afraid of large, dangling icicles.

His favourite brand of dog food is called “For Dogs Who Flew in World War 1 and  understand a little French.”

He was once engaged, but his bride-to-be took off with a Golden Retriever.  Must have been the hair.  And the height.

He plays the accordion and has a penchant for polka music.  Okay, that makes him a human with bad taste.

Here is a whooping crane.  I have whooping cough.  I don’t like this bird right now.

Photo Credits:  Chicken in shades (gp1.pinbike.org), Dog shoes (glamour.com), Snoopy (www.myfreewallpapers.net), whooping crane (www.birdorable.com).

“One Lovely Blog Award” for me? YAY!

I  am so excited.  I have just received the “One Lovely Blogger Award” from the awesomely witty http://allthingsboys.wordpress.com/.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.   Now, please visualize a short round person–let’s say a female Danny DeVito–doing cartwheels and backflips.  That’s me.  Watch me go.  I think I just pulled something.

Don’t worry.  My hands are fine.  Still able to type.

Apparently, I must now come up with another round of 7 Random Things About Me.  I have recently discovered that I am a very “random” person–I’m not sure if it was a compliment or a dig–but today, this skill (or flaw) will come in handy.

1.  I eat my food funny.  Let me qualify this statement.  I still use my mouth and chew and swallow like normal people.  It is my method of “organizing” my food that is strange.  Apparently.  I always save the best until last.  A Wunderbar involves eating the chocolate and caramel skin first.  The PB centre is my reward.  A piece of pizza must be eaten crust first, then toppings that are not cheese, then soggy pizza bottom.  Last and definitely not least, I eat the cheese.  Which could explain my problematic constipation.  It has occurred to me that I would eat less if I saved the worst for last.  But then I’d never eat my veggies.

2.  I love yard sales.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are aspects of rooting through other people’s junk that are rather…um…off-putting.  But every now and then, you find a gem.  Like my lamp with feet.  Or my rocking horse elephant.  A rocking elephant, I guess.  Or my tea pot with feet.  Hm.  Do I suffer from a strange form of foot fetish?

3.  I recently bought a big round brown pillow made of fun fur, put giant eyes on it, and named it “Skippy.”  He does not have feet.

4.  I lisp when I talk too fast.  Which is most of the time.  I am a fast-talker.  My husband thinks it’s cute when I lisp, so it’s okay.

5.  We hate a strange menagerie of wildlife that we feed.  A chipmunk named Snoopy (he has an unusually long nose–almost as if his father was a shrew) that comes when he’s called and sits on my lap to eat peanuts.  A red squirrel named Patches (he’s been in a lot of fights judging from his bald spots) that also lets us hand feed him.  Several blue jays that stand on the deck railings and stare until they are fed.  Crows that come for food when I call out “Big Bird.”  Yes, the neighbours think I am insane.  And they find pieces of food in really strange places.  In fact, if I looked at my neighbour’s roof right now, I’d probably see a slab of peanut-butter smeared bread stuck to his shingles or spread across his hedge.  And there are a lot of sunflower plants of “mysterious origins” sprouting all around us.  Hehe.

6.  I hate TV medical dramas.  I am far too neurotic and OCD to expose myself to hours of maimed and ailing people.  There simply aren’t enough airbags or anti-bacterial soap to conquer the fears that ER or Grey’s Anatomy would spawn in this manic brain.

7.  I snort when I laugh.  My husband does not think this is cute at all.

Now I have the honour of passing this award on to 15 Lovely Bloggers.  Again, I am sorry that I can’t pass it on to all of the blogs I follow, but rules are rules.

1.  http://jodiambroseblog.com/  She is hilarious and no topic is off-limits!!  She always makes me laugh out loud!

2.  http://lesleycarter.wordpress.com/  I live vicariously through this blog.

3.  http://annaweezy.wordpress.com/  I just discovered this blog and she is hilarious.  Check it out!

4.  http://losjuevos.wordpress.com/  This is the quirkiest blog I’ve seen in a long time.  It makes me smile.

5. http://thisthatandtheotherthang.wordpress.com/  This is one of my favourites.  I like the way her mind works.

6.  http://palomasharma.wordpress.com/  This is one of my other favourites.  This girl can write!  And make you laugh.

7.  http://pickyniki.wordpress.com/  I just discovered this blog and LOVE it.  Imagine torturing yourself every day by having to eat something new and weird.

8. http://dearflash.wordpress.com/  Who wouldn’t love seeing life through the eyes of an endearing, short-legged canine?  No one, that’s who.

9.   http://killsharpcheddar.com/  A cool and eclectic blend of photos, cartoons, and thoughts.

10.  http://jefferly.com/  This blog is funny and intelligent.

11.  http://agingappropriately.wordpress.com/  Just discovered this blog and LOVED it.  Funny.

12.http://doninmass.com/  Quirky and witty.

13.   http://kitchenslattern.com/  My day would not be complete without the kitchen slattern.  Absolutely hilarious.

14.   http://motherhoodisanart.com/about/  Funny and clever take on real life with kids.

15. http://wedelmom.wordpress.com/   This is awesomely funny!!

I am about to tag all 15 of you.  You’ve been warned!