Cavemen and Martians and Doughboys, Oh My!

I have as much faith in the newspaper’s daily horoscopes as I do in a Chinese factory worker’s ability to pen prophetic words and stuff them into my fortune cookie. This raises the question…Why aren’t  there more psychic lottery winners?

I do, however, find it interesting that cartoon characters and puppets have birthdays. Not because I think that everyone born on November 2 will share Cookie Monster’s unhealthy relationship with food or that those born on February 22 will suffer from Pebbles Flintstone’s speech impediment. It is simply fun. Unless, of course, you are like me and learn that not a single one of your beloved childhood characters shares your birthday.

Here is a list of assorted talking ducks, dogs, and other creatures and their dates of birth (according to various websites).

January 9-Daisy Duck

January 12-Mater

January 17-Huckleberry Hound

January 13-Rubber Duckie

January 28-Ernie

January 29-Aquaman

February 2-Fred Flintstone

February 3- Elmo

February 8-Beeker

February 12-Gromit (Wallace & Gromit)

February 14-Pink Power Ranger

February 17- Rod Flanders

February 19-Batman

February 22-Pebbles Flintstone

February 25-Patrick Star (Starfish)

February 29-Superman

March 2-Porky Pig

March 3-Lucy Van Pelt

March 4-Woodstock

March 9-Barbie

March 17-Dennis the Menace

March 18-Pillsbury Dough boy

March 20-Big Bird

March 22- Kenny (South Park)

April 1- Bart Simpson

April 17-Daffy Duck & Sherlock Hemlock (Sesame Street)

April 20-Barney Gumble

May 1-Sponge Bob Square Pants

May 9-Kermit the Frog & Lisa Simpson

May 15- Minnie Mouse

May 25-Goofy

May 26-Kyle (South Park)

May 29-Iron Man

June 1-Oscar the Grouch

June 7-The Amazing Mumford

June 9-Donald Duck

June 19-Garfield & Tasmanian Devil

July 1-Guy Smiley & Cartman (South Park)

July 24-Marvin the Martian

July 26-Bert

July 27-Bugs Bunny & Jon Arbuckle (Garfield)

August 7- Wallace (Wallace & Gromit)

August 19-Snuffleupagus

August 21-Christopher Robin

September 5-Clifford the Red Dog & Pluto

September 13-Scooby-Doo

September 15-Mr. Burns

September 19-Slimey

September 30- Snagglepuss

October 1-Marge Simpson

October 2-Snoopy

October 6-Peggy (King of the Hill)

October 9- The Count

October 14-Grover & Winnie the Pooh

October 16-Telly

October 19-Stan Marsh (South Park)

October 25-Squidward

October 28-ALF

October 30- Charlie Brown

November 2-Cookie Monster

November 18-Mickey Mouse

November 21-Quick Draw McGraw

November 30- Mr. Krabs (Sponge Bob)

December 17-Little Bird (Sesame Street)

December 22-Elsa (Disney)

December 27-Howdy Doody

Who do you share a birthday with? Who would you most like to share it with? 

Is “Versatile” A Polite Way of Saying “Will Write About Absolutely Anything?”

I look like I have gone several rounds with Mohammed Ali this morning.  My right eye is one giant saddle bag surrounded by scratches.  Rumour has it, I have acquired an eye virus.  Seriously?  How in the heck does a person get an eye virus?  It’s not as if I’ve been pushing elevator buttons with my retina or rinsing my eyes in other people’s backwash.  And no one has sneezed directly in to my cornea.  Lately.  

And, yes, the full set of Samsonite that has taken residence in what was once my flat and bagless under-eye is damn itchy.  After two consecutive mornings of waking up with massive claw marks–it looks like I’ve been battling Garfield for a lasagna–I have taken to wearing gloves to sleep.  I hate it.  Not only do I hate to have covers over my feet, but it turns out that I also hate having warm hands.  I keep finding my white gloves–they make me look like I have Mickey Mouse hands–everywhere but on my fingers.  And the claw marks continue to materialize.

After a glimpse in the mirror–followed by a wake-the-dead scream–I decided to visit my blogging friends for solace.  You, after all, are unaware of my current monstrous appearance (well, at least you were until I told you about it.  I am an idiot).

And, lo and behold, I have received a nomination for the Versatile Blogger Award!  Behind their swollen itchiness, these Irish eyes are smiling!  Just one question–does “versatile” imply or infer (can never get those two words straight) that I will write about absolutely anything?  I don’t have a problem if it does–because I pretty much will write about anything.  ANYTHING at all.

versatileblogger11

A huge thanks to The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle for nominating me.  If you have not checked out her blog, you must!  It is one of my all-time favourites.  She is absolutely hilarious and never fails to make me laugh out loud.

I have cut and pasted the directions for accepting this award and hope that my crust-riddled eyes have read them correctly.  They are:

  1. Link back to the person who nominated you.
  2. Nominate other blogs for the award.
  3. List 7 random things about you.
  4. Put the award pic on your acceptance post

I have completed numbers 1 and 4.  Yay me.  Now I must nominate some other bloggers.

Twenty Seven In Twelve

Snoring Dog Studio

This, That, and The Other Thang

On The Homefront and Beyond

Swim in the Adult Pool

23thorns

Family Haikus

I thought that seven would be a good number–you know, one for every day of the week.  One of my other favs, Motherhood is an Art received this award at the same time as me.  Otherwise, she would be nominated now too.

Ugh.  Now I must come up with SEVEN random things about myself.  Hm.

1.  When I was a kid, I desperately wanted a dog.  I even pretended to be one for awhile–I answered the door barking etc.  I thought I’d embarrass my parents until they caved.  Due to my allergies, I was limited to getting a poodle.  This thought terrified me.  The only poodles that I had ever seen were the ones with the silly hairdos.  I actually believed they came that way.  Thankfully, when I met the poodle that was to be mine, his hair was fluffy and evenly distributed throughout his body.

Who wouldn't find this pointy-nosed, pom-pom footed, skinny assed dog cute?

Who wouldn’t find this pointy-nosed, pom-pom footed, skinny assed dog cute?

2.  Like I already said, I simply cannot seem to grasp the difference between “infer” and “imply.”   I also seem to call cupboards closets and closets cupboards.

I don’t care if it’s a cupboard or a closet…as long as there isn’t a skeleton hiding in it.

3.  I bought a gift for my friend’s baby that will be born in June.  I’m not really sure what it is.  It is tall and handmade, chocolate brown and white, it sits up and has very long arms.  I call it Bear Monkey Dog.  I think it will be staying at my house permanently and I will be buying her something else.  It matches my chocolate brown walls and I’ve grown rather attached to it.  Whatever it is.

Is it a bear?  A monkey?  A dog?  You decide.

Is it a bear? A monkey? A dog? You decide.

4.  I recently bought a kid’s book for myself.  It is called Stick Man and is, perhaps, one of the best children’s books ever.  He’s a man…and he’s a stick.  It sort of reminds me of the many sticks and rocks that I picked up as a kid and couldn’t put down because I wanted them to come home and “live” at our house.  I was always adopting inanimate objects and feeling sorry for them.  Sort of like Bear Monkey Dog.

Makes you think twice before burning kindling, doesn’t it? Maybe it’s just me.

5.  I love the smell of gas.  Not the farted type.  I like gas as in gas-oline.  I could work at a gas bar just so I could smell the product.  Mm.

I said sniffing “gas,” not ASS.

6. Gail Vaz-Oxlade annoys me.  Yes, she has to deal with an endless parade of morons.  And, yes, half of them come to her for help, but don’t want to listen.  But she bugs the crap out of me.  Nails on a blackboard.  The fact that she is on during suppertime doesn’t help.  Nothing worse than being annoyed during a meal.

I know I’m annoying, but it works. See, I said I wouldn’t shut up until I got a tiara and I got one. .

7.  Carrots are overrated.  I have red hair.  As an adult, I have come to appreciate it.  Part of this is due to the fact that other adults say nice things about it.  As a kid, I HATED having red hair.  And this is down to the fact that other kids said bad things about it.  To this day, I can’t hear a Woody Woodpecker laugh without cringing.  I get more joy out of carving a pumpkin than most non-pumpkin-hair-coloured people do.  And I harbour a deep resentment towards carrots.  To me, they are only good for one thing.  Snowman noses.

Even Frosty has bad “carrot” memories.

Photo Credits:  Poodle (http://lifeissian.wordpress.com), Closet Cupboard (www.scaryforkids.com), Stickman (www.guardian.co.uk), dog butt (sodahead.com), Gail (www.torontosun.com),